Me giving orders at the start of Standoff

"I'll drive. Cri gun. Joe grab rockets. Grass go invis for laser."

Grass: "So uh...where's the laser??"

Me:

Preparing the ban hammer.

I was doing some class A voice acting for a barbarian cook I’m working on.

It didn’t take for Sarge and Jazzy.

M3CH4: Continues voicing character.

Jazzy: Mecha, stop. Its late. You’re going to give people nightmares.

The Euros talking about logistics and travel when Criporc comes to visit.

General discusion: 'Aw geez Shep is like 2 hours by car and Panda is like 4, but none of us can drive. Panda is like 9 hours away on the train and Shep is 4. Busses are worse they take even longer. Maybe we should look at flights? Flights are only like an hour."

Criporc: "I go shower, while you all talk to each other about how small england is"

Playing Halo 4 with MC and Pirate on Valhalla remake. Opposing team gets a spawn flip and grabs our banshee.

MC: Shit guys they have our banished.
. . .
MC: Oh wait, never mind I have a laser. (Proceeds to perfect shot it down).

In our latest DND session, we were in a swampy area and had to make acrobatics checks against a manticore. Swift has one of the higher acrobatics scores as well as the ability to aid other players who roll poorly. Swifts character fell flat on his ass while saving someone else from a natural one.. the following ensued:

https://clips.twitch.tv/ArtsyTrappedWitchBleedPurple

Everyone sitting around at mine not deciding on things to do.

Me: I’m fine. It’s not what you do it’s who you do it with.
Cri: Its who you do.

Whilst in a Halo lobby.

Monster: This map is so bad. I hope they don't have a map like this in Infinity.
Joey: What? Are you serious right now, this map is great.
Monster: It's aesthetically pleasing, sure. But it's a bad map.
Joey: But we got the good spawn!

In unison about 4 people: Any map that has a good spawn is a bad map!

Monster wrote:

Playing Halo 4 with MC and Pirate on Valhalla remake. Opposing team gets a spawn flip and grabs our banshee.

MC: Shit guys they have our banished.
. . .
MC: Oh wait, never mind I have a laser. (Proceeds to perfect shot it down).

Classic MC.

Joefro, in a late night party:

“Mayonnaise is the Hardlight of food.”

DuckE talking about a giant crab and a Grey Render pairbonding and realizing the crab was bigger than the monstrosity:
"That means the Grey Render gets to be the little spoon!"

Some stuff I forgot to post.
Sarge, talking about the Strahd game he plays in.

“...so I came back to that hag with those werewolves....apparently, 15 werewolves can deal 85 damage in one round.”

At the rally
Me:
“What do you call DuckE, Biggles, Brick, Swift and MC hugging?
-A caltrop”

Me: "I'm gonna make some quick lunch, be right back"
Sarge: "Some quonch"
Me: "wait what"

Chaos, Duce, Cruckeyee and myself in a PC MCC game on Sandtrap last night, Duce driving Chaos and me attempting to call spawns:

“There’s like 4 dudes on top of lon-“
(Cruck lasers someone from across the map)
“...there’s like 3 dudes on top of long”

Whilst doing a jumping puzzle in the raid Mauro looking across a gap at us.

Mauro: "How do I get over there?"
Dethshed: "You have to jump up. Like time your jumps. Press [X] then [X] again at the top of your first jump."
M: "I know how to jump Deth! I mean over to you."
D: " Yes you have to jump UP."
M: "I still won't make it to you."
Me and Deth: "Mauro look up. You have to jump up to that platform."
M: *looks at platform* "oh"

Laughter across the fireteam.